if i bitch it's not earnest
Aug. 27th, 2012 06:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intaglioDriving was a no-go, this morning, after weeks of waiting for it.
Still not sure if I'm happy or sad. Relieved, maybe; at least the pressure wasn't all on me, and it looked like I had made some effort. I don't wonder that some of the reason she thinks I'm such a fuckup is that I pull stunts like this.
I just get so scared. I refuse to identify the why or the source. Not identifying it keeps me in my safe little bubble of a routine, which, let's face it, if I left, I would have to start doing something else; isn't that horrific.
There comes a time, as an adult, when you just have to accept that no more of the things are getting done today, and that you cannot do the blogging you wanted, and that it will not get completed. It is not special. You are not special.
They should amend that to read you are not more special than anyone else, which is, after all, what we take it to mean: license to grind others into the dirt, in the name of our own uniqueness.
I could really go for a sandwich.
Apropos of nothing.
I had all this shit I wanted to say, and then when I got here, it vanished. There was a hole here; it's gone now.
Anyway, almost through my responses to my classmates' work, and happily many of them are very smart and actually also write like it! This is going to be a good thing.
When life gets harder, you must have just leveled up.
Still not sure if I'm happy or sad. Relieved, maybe; at least the pressure wasn't all on me, and it looked like I had made some effort. I don't wonder that some of the reason she thinks I'm such a fuckup is that I pull stunts like this.
I just get so scared. I refuse to identify the why or the source. Not identifying it keeps me in my safe little bubble of a routine, which, let's face it, if I left, I would have to start doing something else; isn't that horrific.
There comes a time, as an adult, when you just have to accept that no more of the things are getting done today, and that you cannot do the blogging you wanted, and that it will not get completed. It is not special. You are not special.
They should amend that to read you are not more special than anyone else, which is, after all, what we take it to mean: license to grind others into the dirt, in the name of our own uniqueness.
I could really go for a sandwich.
Apropos of nothing.
I had all this shit I wanted to say, and then when I got here, it vanished. There was a hole here; it's gone now.
Anyway, almost through my responses to my classmates' work, and happily many of them are very smart and actually also write like it! This is going to be a good thing.
When life gets harder, you must have just leveled up.
